Saturday, April 25, 2009

Quote of the day 4/25/2009

I am reading the book Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life Living the Wisdom of the Tao by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Verse 17 of The Tao is very enlightening talking about leadership principles. I thought that those of you who are parents might gain something from this so I thought I'd share:

Verse 17:

With the greatest leader above them,
people barely know one exists.
Next comes one whom they love and praise.
Next comes one whom they fear.
Next comes one whom they despise and defy.

When a leader trusts no one,
no one trusts him.

The great leader speaks little.
He never speaks carelessly.
He works without self-interest
and leaves no trace.
When all is finished, the people say,
"We did it ourselves."

In this chapter Dr. Dyer talks about the role of Leader being exchangeable with teacher or parent. I thought is was a great lesson for parents I wish I had learned years ago. He interprets this verse explaining that as an good leader you;
stay in the background, be an astute observer, act with out interfering, create an
environment inspiring everyone to act responsibly.
inspire by example creating space for others to achieve their own
greatness/accomplishment developing their own leadership qualities/ability.
be of service making a difference in others lives resolving conflicts with love and
praise, (other tactics create fear of the leader, they will act opposing you in your
absence, despise you, defy you, detach from you for dictatorial adult/leader tactics).
praise, trust them in their own decision making process even when their behavior may
conflict with yours.
take pride in not taking credit for their achievements.

He quotes Hafiz describing this in a poem:

The sun never says to the earth,
"You Owe Me."

What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the

Love those you're intrusted to lead, just like the sun loves our planet. Simply be there to serve, never demanding anything in return.

As I wrote a few weeks ago about my sermoning my children rather than acting on the knowledge that children primarily learn by example anyway. This is such a beautiful expression of that same lesson. Allowing children to make their own decisions, pay the price of the consequences of their own decisions as children when the natural consequences are are far less severe than the consequences of the decisions made once they've moved out on their own. It is so hard to "shut up" when they are in your charge, you just want to help and protect them from hurt/pain. But the lessons, self confidence and empowerment they achieve through this process will serve them in developing leadership qualities of their own. And then when you're not around to provide your guidance, such as when they've become a teen, they're out with their friends, this is the time they need to have been well practiced at deciding for themselves.

I found this to be profound advise not just in business leadership but parenting:

I hope this was of value to you.

Love you all,


Friday, April 24, 2009

Quote of the day 4/24/09

What might my life be like were I to give in to the rhythms of my own ragged dance? —Susan Hanson

I am running into a lot of quotes with this theme. If they're showing up like this the message must be needed somewhere so I'll share it.

Like the last quote I sent talking about that we sense there are things we should or desire to do and we don't act. Again a quote that tells us to go inside of ourselves, find our own answers, be inspired and let our purpose come to life!!! Isn't this what we are meant to do? I all to often I do not go inside, contemplate and allow my feelings to inspire me. I allow reasoning, thinking to detract me in to what seems acceptable and appropriate. I fear being judged by others.

Look at history, and books successful people have written about their accomplishment, and a common theme is those around these people who were so successful, were thought by their friends and loved one's to be crazy, eccentric and often were scorned for acting on their desires.

Well based on what they have, they created or attained I need to adjust who I'm allowing to influence my actions and trust myself and never give up.

Share you thoughts PLEASE!

Love you all,


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

It' to assume that heaven is right here, right now, and let the stars fall where they may. —Margaret Gunther

I have worked hard in the last 5 years, reading, studying, adjusting my responses and controlling my thoughts in an effort to try to accomplish what is stated in this quote. Then in the last few months I fell off the wagon in a big way. I believe this quote states the way we were meant to live our lives, trusting that the things that come to us are divinely inspired and to not resist the things that appear to difficult or "ends" but rather to trust the saying when a door closes a window opens and move forward boldly, confidently and know the outcome will be a blessing.

I have allowed emotion and most likely some fears rooted in past hurt to undo my hard work. I failed to be diligent in controlling my thoughts and allowed complacency to be the door for weaker, victimization thoughts to creep back in.

This regression has brought a loved one of mine to suffer along with me, for that I am sorry. I will work to adjust this set back and be a more positive influence and trust that all outcomes are the stars falling where they may.

Respond with comments please:

I love you all,


Monday, April 13, 2009

Quote of the Day 4/13/2009

Our ideas, like orange-plants, spread out in proportion to the size of the box which imprisons the roots. Edward Bulwer Lytton

If only my creative mind could be as indiscriminate in search for new direction and growth as roots reaching out, what would I learn, what would I see, what would I come to understand that my limited experiences have not provided me. My judgement of directs my decisions, how can I undo that learned process to allow the variety or options this vast world provides.

I do exercise my mind to grow through exposure to new material through reading and challenge myself to be better through self examination therefore I believe I'm transplanting into larger boxes as I go. However, my discretion selects direction when if I could eliminate judgement I believe surprises of life would unfold. Where did this take your mind??

Respond with your thoughts.

Love you all, Jacky

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Quote of the day 4/7/2009

If you see failure as a monster stalking you, or one that has already ruined your life, take another look. That monster can become a benevolent teacher, opening your mind to successes you cannot now imagine. —Martha Beck

As I look back on my life those at most painful experiences, the times I felt the most despair, I realized these were the most valued lessons in my life. I felt victim. Blamed others and didn't take the responsibility for constructing a positive outcome. But once I had the opportunity to heal from the pain of the experience I could look back and see value of the lessons learned, I could see the change in me and that I had grown from it. My compassion for others expanded as well. I now feel comforted while going through these experiences that something of value will result.

Love you all,


Friday, April 3, 2009

Quote of the day 4/3/09

Nature teaches more than she preaches. There are no sermons in stones.
John Burroughs

Wow, I really hope some of you respond to this one. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this quotes and how it applies to your lives.

For me, this hit hard as I look back at the parent I was. I so PREACHED. And PREACHED and PREACHED. Just ask my kids. Long diatribes of how many times I had to say this same thing over and over, listing all the things I had done to try to improve their behavior, bla bla bla bla!!!! Had I listened to my mother, and allowed life to teach me as I went along I would have learned and implemented more effective skills so much earlier. But, rather than listen to my heart and nature I used my reasoning to justify my actions. When really my actions were is personal release, all I got out of my poor parenting skills was forcing a captive audience to listen to my woe's. I was taking out my frustrations on my children rather than stepping up being an Example to them and showing love and support. I distracted them from the best teacher and failed to allow them to learn lessons through through their own natural consequences. I was self absorbed and believed my sermons were useful to them.

For me the quote should read: Most effective parents teach by example rather than preaching.

I love my children so much as I did then and wanted to the right thing by them. I so want to be the Mom that provides unconditional love, unfailing belief and support, and act in ways to empower them to reach beyond their own dreams.

Love you all,